Something is not quite right in this picture

Can you spot the two things wrong here?

Cash and money

"Momma, I need to buy more ponies, but I just can't without more cash and money. I just need more!"
And she's saying this to me with a look of total panic, with her arms in the air like 'help me out here momma!'

Sick today

Lainey has Croup, so that means two things: home with me for three days, and yucky tasting medicine and bribes to take it. To be fair, the steroid medicine is absolutely wretched tasting so I think it is more like a reward for taking it and keeping it down than a bribe.
Since I have to work while she's home with me, she has been privy to some of my work conversations. This morning she asked me about Larry from Elbow Cookie (Albuquerque), and wanted to know if he was a boy or girl. She shushed me before I could answer, and said she had to call Lisa from Sage, who works in Sugar Visa (Sierra Vista), and she needed me to be a good girl and stay nice and quiet for her while she was talking to Lisa.

Monday

This morning when I was gathering up blankets, pillows, sheets, keys, phone, dog, and kid for the ride to school, I asked Lainey if she was ready to go.  She said "Yeah Momma, lets blow this popcicle stand!"

She's getting big

Do I not have school tomorrow?

She admits to loving school, but every day she asks if she doesn't not have school tomorrow.  She always asks in her backward double-negative way that Jeff and I love.  It takes us a minute to untwist her questions.  Maybe one day we'll get used to it.
She also has two days in one, because when she takes a nap and wakes up- to her it's a brand new day.  So today (Saturday) after  her nap she asked if she doesn't have school today.  I said no, it's Saturday.  And she asked if she doesn't not have school tomorrow.  I said no, it's Sunday, and there is no school on Sundays.  So she asked what we were doing instead.  I said that since it was Sunday, she and I were going to head out and go shopping and run some errands so daddy can have a little quiet time to watch football.   She says "Okay, but make sure you don't bump into the big bad rocks again, okay?"
???????????????
"Big bad rocks" are mountains, by the way.  And apparently at some point in time in her mind I bumped into them, and this is a concern for us tomorrow.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Bubble gum, bribes, and farting around

Mommy has been very busy at work lately, so it's been pretty important that we get up quickly and get Lainey to school in the mornings.  But Princess Bananafana likes to fart around- mostly because she gets a kick out of it when I tell her "Hey, quit fartin around, we gotta get going!"
So this morning I told her we needed to get going.  It went like this:
L: Am I farting around?
M: You're not at farting around level yet, but you're getting there.
L: Just five more minutes okay?  I'm not ready yet.
M: You have until Mommy is finished getting dressed.
- 30 seconds later-
M: OK baby, lets get your clothes on.
L: No I'm not ready yet.
M: Now you're farting around. 
-pause for the giggle from Lainey.  And Mommy, I'll be honest.-
M: Lets go sweetie, lets get dressed.
L: Hey, Boppa calls me Sweetie.  Want to hear me be like Boppa?  (In a deep voice) "Hello Sweetie, I'm Boppa"!
M: ha ha, that's pretty good Lainey.  Okay lets get dressed.
L: Boppa wants to wear his jammies to school.
M: Come on, please LB, lets get dressed.  I'll give you a piece of bubble gum.  (Yeah, I did say that.)
L: No Momma, that's for when I poop in the potty!
M: (In my head) Crap.  (Out loud) Yep, you're right.  Thanks for reminding me.
L: But you can give me one anyway for being a good girl.
M: OK deal, but only if you get dressed.
L: No, just one more minute.

Booty butt

This morning she slept until 8:20, which is awesome.  She was goofy right from the start, telling me that I shouldn't bite her pink horsey's nose because then I'll get horsey's bogeys in my mouth.
Can't argue that.
So then Jeff was playing with Dunkin while Lainey and I watched and laughed.  At which point Lainey points at Jeff and says "Hey Dad, you're a pee pee butt!" Then points at Dunkin and says "And you're a poo poo butt!" Turns, points at me and says "Uhhhh, Momma, you're a... a.... a.... BOOTIE BUTT!"  (She learned this from Aubrey at school, by the way.  Aubrey and Lainey are frenemies.)  I asked her what she was and if she was a cutie butt, and she goes "NOPE!  I'm just a brick wall!"

Braids

Braiding her hair is like braiding three tiny streams if water. It is also impossible to get her to agree to it because she has a super sensitive head and pulling the hair at all hurts her.
But we did it!
Sort of.

She figured out how to unlock the door

I have to keep my office locked because she loves to hit all the buttons on the printer, take my pens and highlighters, and destroy my stuff in general. Tonight she figured out how to use a quarter to unlock the door and get a pen out of my drawer.
I am in serious trouble with this kid!

YOu said a bad word Momma!

Lainey does not get any candy or new toys until she poops on the potty. THis is a constant debate lately. Here's how the latest conversation went:
Me: no new ponies until you poop in the potty.
L: hey you said a bad word momma!
M: no I didn't.
L: you did.
M: what did I say?
L: a bad word.
M: which one?
L; the bad one.
M: which one was bad?
L: the bad one!
This went on for a while! She never would say the "bad" word!

One Eskimo: Kandi

Lainey calls this song her Angel Song and she told me today that she wants me to come to her school tomorrow and play her Angel song for her teachers because she likes it when we sing it together.

Happy Birthday Momma, now lets eat your cake!

I had to work in the office today, and when I got home and walked in the door, my angel ("straight from heaven") was waiting for me with a big smile on her face.

President Obama re-elected

Recording a piece of history for us to look back on.

Classic

Jeff and Lainey were wrestling and Lainey says "I'm messin' with the wrong guy!"

Daddy Song

Turn your volume up, it's kinda hard to hear.  "Daddy, Daddy, he's my wonderful boy."

Saturday's quote

I don't eat Dunkin's dog food anymore.